Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
Once again you get dinner and all I get is semen on my leg
I just woke up to people screaming "funnel" in my kitchen....
Happy St. Patrick's Day.
he stopped making out with me and said "can I make you grilled cheese? I feel like I owe YOU something"
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
The office pool is up to $500 if you take a shit in Frank's desk drawer. Time to change the unpaid internship into a cash cow.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
Mid way while flirting with this super hot chick at the bar, he gets up and says no thanks I'm only 19 and gay just waiting for my buddy to hurry up and get with your friend.
its cute though when you google his name more than one mug shot comes up from different states
My dick can't jump between your dick and her mouth, man. It's impossible, I think.
Apparently when your theatre teacher asks who the best actor of our time is, Nicolas Cage is not the right answer.
This couch is so comfortable I can tell if it's like a waterbed or I pissed myself
She's the perfect storm of great hair, big boobs, intellectualism, and mild moral ambiguity.
We poured all the Fireball on the Slip and Slide and long story short I have two black eyes.
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
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