I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
Good idea. You gotta take care of your vagina. She takes care of you. Pay it forward.
I find out next week of the Australian was lying about his vasectomy or not. Keep your fingers crossed!
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
If blow jobs were a super power she'd be in the Justice League.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I said he looked like a lumberjack and that's when he came. I guess he liked the beard compliment?
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
I mean she did throw a tantrum because you wouldn't let her suck your dick
What started out as a one night stand ended in him texting me the next day, saying he thought he was gay.
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize