I've blown a few things in my day
You tied the party balloons to your nipple ring so that everyone would know you partied.
Going to a jewelry store high is not a good idea. I look like mr.t's wife.
y-o-u-r-e = you are, y-o-u-r = your. you are a bag of douche not your bag of douche. if you're going to insult me at least do it in proper english. that is all.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We went to red robin and there was a 15 minute wait so we went and fucked in the car. Quickies, endless fries, and a mascot handing out balloons- this is literally the night of my dreams.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Yeah I think we tried to use the shower curtain as a parachute because its tied to my backpack with some string. Dont know if anyone actually attempted it though.
It's kind of hard to say bye to you when you fall asleep on the bar..
We defiantly won best dressed in the ER tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
You kind of have a nervous, desperate thing going on that isn't exactly catnip for bitches
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Well i would have gone to the bar but Satan decided to hold his rituals in my uterus.
Your the only girl I know that carries a $1100 purse with tater tots inside
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
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