Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
How can people commit suicide when things like bagels exist
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
Can you confirm that Victor fucked a girl for Jack in the Box tacos?
I cannot, but I know he fucked a girl for a Nerf hoop and a "Kingpin" dvd.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
Seriously though, you almost tore my right nipple off.
If you're wearing dry underwear your day is already better than mine.
Every bar we ever go to has a woman there who hates him. Getting so much vagina has never seemed so not glorious
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
No. No. Fuck you! You can do your own grocery shopping.
Randomize
