I just showed my tits to my brother on chatroulette. Could my life get any worse?
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
Did we literally take a cab across the street
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
How can I not totally like a guy that told me my boobs were too big for me to be taught how to play golf?
bring the dog... nobody goes to jail with a dog.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
They already have a joint checking account. She's got his balls in her purse! What's next, a shared Facebook account?
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
He was like "why do you look so cute today?" and I said "I showered" and he laughed. I wasn't making a joke
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