Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
she is using a fork to eat popcorn and refuses to drink gatorade out of anything but a margarita glass... did i mention the popcorn is on a plate?
so the last visual we have of him for the next 87 weeks is him outside on the ground rolling around yelling I HATE BLOWJOBS
They're doing a Bong-A-Thon for 4/20. I don't care if you quit. You are coming out of your weed retirement for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
my first words to him the next morning were "do you like magic"?
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
So he got the TA job but i told him its not official until we have a quickie on his desk. He offered to break into his office. He doesnt start until this fall.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I'm texting her. How do I steer the conversation toward "I honestly would be fine never seeing you again"?
i took a magical journey through the park for about two hours. it was amazing and everything was fantastical. i have been informed someone babysat me through that shit.
WHAT A DUMBASS ugh I'm so glad he looks like a middle aged dad now
At least you didn't have a hemorroid rupture while banging
you left your anal beads in the dishwasher
He hit me with his bagpipe
Isnt that against the lesbian handbook?
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