like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
he called you a drunk bob the builder and you proceeded to explain how you were going to build ramps throughout the house
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
They drank shots out of my cleavage. Surprisingly, the one who did the best was a gay guy.
I've said it before and I'll say it again: your tits are a danger to gay men everywhere.
He seemed like a really nice guy. He tried to dry my shirt because someone spilled their drink on me. I think that's how I ended up topless on his dryer.
I get hit on by the prison guards every time i go to see him. Seriously.
Did your surprise acid trip turn out well?
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
I mean, I bought pot and shampoo before I ran out. I think I can adult.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
Okay, so is being determined to have my vagina licked by a woman on Valentine's day an acceptable goal?
Ok. Yes. He has a tiny penis. But he also has a trust fund.
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