i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
I just spent all my babysitting money on red cups and beer.
People still let you watch their kids?
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
yeah that always happens. i'm like the where's waldo of parties. i never even know where the fuck i'm at.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
If you're wondering where your left shoe is you lost it in a bet with a homeless guy last night
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Nothing like putting a Percocet up your nose because you spent your night drinking heavily and can't drink water to make you heavily reconsider your life choices
IT'S A GIANT FUCKING ROBOT, DUDE. LOGIC IS OUT OF THE QUESTION BECAUSE AWESOME.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
Dude. If you guys end up really liking each other, the color of his pubes won't matter. I wouldn't break a sweat.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
