just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
she asked me what the final straw was. i had to tell her i caught him jerking off to digimon porn. i don't know what i'm more upset by, that he was masturbating to cartoons, or that he was masturbating to sub-par cartoons
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
I woke up naked in my bathtub at 5:30 this morning. There's legit a spray tan body print of me in the fetal position in my tub.
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
we're like Indians of the 21st century. trading not for food and survival but personal gain and by trouble you mean getting daytime drunk and going to the roller ring then yes.
I knew it was a good Wednesday night when I woke up tucked in to NOT my own bed with my beer helmet, an empty bottle of Jose, and a trash can placed in front of my face.. Happy 20th!
I've been continuously high for the last 48 hours, and just broke my 4th vibrator. Coincidence? FIND ME A MAN I BEG OF YOU.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
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