Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
my mom just walked in on me furiously masturbating while reading twilight. needless to say, im officially out of the closet.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
gave him road head on the way to his grandparents house. purposely didn't let him finish, the sexual tension over turkey was indescribable.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
We had to go to his parents last night for dinner & ended up having a quickie in the bathroom while everyone else was outside smoking.. This is why we have a successful marriage.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
is anything happening tonight?? I'm soooo in need of a tasteful and healthy bender.
Shower sex is an art that should not be attemted drunk
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
We just had a contest for who has less of a gag reflex...I am sad to admit that my mother won.
Randomize
