i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
maybe you should start leaving anonymous bottles of booze on his doorstep with love notes attatched. that always gets me.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
Peed in a church parking lot last night. As if Jesus didnt hate me enough already.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
Went online to check my credit card... $147.87 at Waffle House. $632.36 at "Red Rose Gentleman's Club" and a $1000 cash advance from an ATM. I may no longer be a fiancé.
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