Something in my vomit makes me think I shouldn't have had that slurpee
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
I think Charlie st. Cloud is the saddest thing I can masturbate to.
Attention: due to the power outage we will not be playing drinking games and watching the royal wedding. Bring your own bottle and we'll just drink in silence.
Wow way to turn my death into an oppurtunity to get laid
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
I just caught myself watching and Irish step dance documentary in my underwear drinking nyquil through a straw at 2 in the afternoon. today's off to a good start.
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
I'm serious. I have boob tassles if this is an exchange thing.
Dropped the bowl in the litter box. But it landed face up. What do I do?
Don't worry my mom is buying me a vasectomy for Christmas
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
LISTEN TO ME! DONDE ESTA LA FUCKING VICODIN!
Randomize
