didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
ironically, his detergent was also "small and mighty"
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
I really wish you were half the slut you're sister was in college
He's sobering up. It was really bad for like 45 minutes. He cried while telling me how he pictured us eating hotdogs on the beach together.
No no no. When you take one for the team, there are no stipulations or conditions
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
They're showing aladdin at the bar my birthday is complete
Fuck underwear. Let's get stoned and eat ravioli.
Imagine getting a FB inbox "hey I found your ID on the floor of a bar can you send me a mugshot so I can get a second piece of ID made?"
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
day drinking caused me to be in bed at a decent time. can't complain.
Like, I want sex but I also would be okay with Netflix
Randomize
