Hey sorry about saying i hated you. it was the coke and the ice cream.
I was just at the urinal, started to go, then farted, then said oh yea out loud, then heard someone move in the stall behind me
I had a talk with my mom about respecting myself and not acting like a whore so she will rip my nose ring out if she somehow sees that picture
my coke dealer is running a Black Friday special
Dude, she's just using you for your money, and Cavs tickets.
Honestly, what else do I have going for me?
You make a valid point.
My mom walked down and caught me drinking by myself, watching the nanny at 3:30AM. I had no idea what to say
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
Sitting on the floor in my kitchen eating taquitos. Being this drunk the next day has lost its allure post graduation.
Well, I found my bra. It's in my glove compartment with a half-eaten Snickers bar and a Jesus bookmark.
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Come on, what straight woman, gay man, or bi person HASN'T scrolled through Justin Trudeau pictures after a bad day?
Randomize
