Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
How many pudding cups do I have to eat for it to count as dinner?
4.
i just shit an entire soup salad and breadsticks from the olive garden... bud light wins again.
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
there is a priest convention in the hotel. i feel like god is laughing at me.
Funny, I didnt know that facebook statuses were for crappy song lyrics
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
it wasn't until he got that douchey haircut that i started regretting sleeping with him
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
I love how when they see that I'm upset their initial response is to offer me ecstasy
I just passed a lady driving with a cat in a sweater sitting on her lap with its paws on the steering wheel
Only you....
Who fucking spams baby shark at a sports bar
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