32 messages asking me to suck his dick. And there for a minute i thought i was desperate. ha!
Hahahaha
make that 40.
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
He' s half Black and half Italian, I finally asked...this penis maybe one for the records.
I heard that if you win you get to have sex with me. You guys really need to stop wagering my vagina.
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Doctor said I have sports induced asthma.
Call me old fashioned, but around here we call that "out of shape."
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I don't mean to ruin your favorite Disney movie...but...we both came when Mufasa died.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Why is there an ambulance refusal in my pocket? I'm never going drinking with you again.
You kept ripping all your clothes off and saying, "Let me be free!"
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
Yeah, he threw a chair and hit her in the side of the head. She started hysterically crying and then proceeded to continue kicking our ass at beerpong. The girls got talent.
i have a strong feeling that today will be a naked day for me...i don't feel like doing shit
Jesus better clutch that motherfucking wheel, then.
I'M NOT PUTTING MY TRUST IN JESUS! I'M PUTTING MY TRUST IN YOU!
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