You're so nebulous sometimes
I've heard semen is good for your skin though, so that pimple on my chin should clear right up.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
There is no excuse for watching a Jesse McCartney movie.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
the threesome consisted of him fingering dana while i laid next to them watching how i met your mother.
Probably shouldn't have worn my jeans covered in blood from last night to class.
In order of importance: Where am I? Where's my car? Where are my clothes? Who is this chick in the room?
Anne's couch, the bar, your car, Anne.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Blacking out is all I've done this year and we're only 3 days in. Checkmate bitch.
He walked in wearing nothing but a WWF belt and yelled "THE CHAMP... IS... HEEERE!!!"
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Apparently I promised everyone at the party I'd partake in various winter sports with them..
Randomize
