just took a sink shower in Arbys bathroom
She went dumpster diving. Found flourescent light bulbs, carpet samples and $15. We got a bottle of Popov, played star wars and threatened random people with the carpet. Get on our level.
just let her blow you already, it's practically animal cruelty at this point.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
Psh a bachelors degree is the new adulthood. We're all just pretending anyways. I'm sitting on my boyfriends couch while he's passed out drunk. In my lap. On a Wednesday. And he's a nurse. See, pretending to be an adult
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I'm using my ex bfs phone number to look up his Kroger card so I can get a discount on condoms...yep this is my life
What exactly do I say to a random stoner hookup to thank him for ending my dry spell? Is it awkward to just say "Thanks for that. It was well needed."
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
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