i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Kicked off drink for Jesus month by puking in my mouth while talking to my priest...real cool
whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The bride and groom wore the Batman masks I brought. Best wedding ever.
It's been hot as balls outside. It's like getting tea bagged by the Sun.
I think you are the only one slutty enough and evil enough for the job. Just go in and blue ball him. He broke my nose in Middle school. He deserves this.
The guy had great intentions when throwing us free beer off the balcony... but of course I was the one to get hit in the face because that's the kind of luck I have
By the way, just opened the browser on my phone for the first time today... And it was it the "images" section of "who invented ass fucking"
So thanks for that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
He sent me a picture of Reese's peanut butter cups next to his dick. Of course I went over.
It's not above me to sleep with him solely for his authentic budweiser shirt
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Too much dab too little lung dying 😵😵😵
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