I love the "adulterer" look on you. It's hot.
Its part of my fall instant classic line.
If you die in college, do you die in real life?
all i seem to do anymore is lay around stoned, naked and eating mangoes
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Not enough clothes on. Not enough vagina. Not enough drugs in my body.
I am ina trunk. Iam in a trunnnnnjkk. I hope its yours. Oh manomanomano. Thids better be your trunk
I just want to meet whoever runs the hall cameras
hahahaha I don't. Watch one day i'll be walking along and someone will stop me and say "oh you're that one girl who is out. of. control." But then they'd probably give me a high five.
Haha. Maybe he's one of those feminine men who fucks like a god then makes you fantastic crepes afterwards
Is it considered a bad morning to find your boss half naked in the parking lot of work at 7am?
That depends, how hot is your boss?
I have to drop off my inflatable penis costume at the bar for my bartender. Do you think you could meet me there at like 630?
If they could bottle a hangover it would taste exactly like lemon lime Gatorade and failed hopes and dreams
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Well I'm sorry I assumed you were a human and that humans have the capability to forget sometimes.
:(. i have vodka in a fire extinguisher. that solves all problems. except fires. it would actually make that worse.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
