This morning when you woke up you looked like one of the Wii Bowling people. I think it was the eyebrows combined with the sambuca
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
woke up to an unread text message i sent to myself: "brreakfdast..pork and ice cream."
those 9 inches of man changed my life forever.
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
drinking vodka, listening 2 smh at 530am slow cooking beef stew. you'll enjoy the stew and worry abt me in the morning. bon apatite
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
I'm drinking on a Thursday because I can
Today is Wednesday you jobless drunk
i'm really sorry, but i'm just not sober enough to make good decisions.
He caught me shoving meatballs into my mouth using my hand. Fuck utensils. It’s Christmas...and this is why I’m single.
They are good meatballs.
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