I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
"The real world" DC house is on the corner of 20th and S. Wanna come with to check it out? It's my goal to be a blurred out face in their hot tub.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
The best part was her genuine shock and total "I didn't know" look when we said she couldn't cook a steak in a microwave.
He told me he wanted to break up so he could get "closer to God."
Does God suck his dick?
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
Lost my key. Fell asleep on the doorstep and got woken up by host grandma poking me with a broom.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
Who knows? Maybe we can sing afternoon delight into each other's genitals.
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
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