Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
I'm making progress with her.. She actually looked at me today and gave me a dirty look. Things are going real good.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
I thanked her for the handjob she gave me in the middle of the night. She had no idea what i was talking about. I think she sleep-jerked-me-off. Im def sleeping over tonight too
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
If you are wondering why there is half eaten pizza in your pocket it's because you were passed out with it in your hand in my bathtub. Today's your b-day and thought I'd give you a good idea about what happened last night as a present
The more and more I think about it, the more I realize... it's not ok to just pull over on the side of the highway to pee... I'm sorry I argued that
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
Girl you know I'm an advocate of debauchery but you might wanna check yoself.
I'm supposed to be at work in 10 min, I just woke up and am 45 min away...tinder for the win
I had to fake it. He was punching my vagina like it owed him money and enough was enough.
Randomize
