i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
he asked if i wanted their team name to be " Amandas angels" or " Fuk budies" either way an intermural softball team of all my hook ups from spring semester is just depressing. convenient but depressing
I saw you eating fruit and doing shots off people passed out
Well that's another check off the sexual bucketlist of things I never wanted to experience.
i think the theme of this summer is "shitting in weird locations."
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I'm gonna try Jim's breakup remedy this weekend.
Is that the one where you drink 3 cases of beer and rewatch as much WWE RAW as you can find? Or the one where you hookup with fatties on Craigslist?
It wasn't a mystery that it was the pizza cooking in the oven when we stumbled out of the bedroom in a smoke filled apartment at 2am. We are dangerous drunks
Totally thought something squeezed my boob. Then I remembered I was wearing a bra. Isn't weed great?
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I wish you could just Google "people I've had sex with" and they would all just come up
How many gummy vitamins can I eat before I die
Randomize
