Screwed.edu
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
Sorry no. I've already promised my first single hookup to somebody.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He just asked for the blowjob I promised him 3 years ago that he'd get the next time Michigan beat Ohio State. Goddamnit.
He passed out with the ball in his hand so no one could play beer pong without him.
I like to take my ritalin one pill at a time with each pill spaced out a couple minutes so I feel like I'm going super saiyan when they kick in.
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
It's meant to be, Cynthia. You, him, and your developed breasts are meant for each other.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone the age of your son tried to go home with me from the bar last night
only I would find a long lost relative through a craigslist casual encounters ad
I just moved my 11am hair appointment to 8am so I could blackout at noon. Who am I?
Whatever. I have his dick. Haha how many girls can say they have a dildo replica of a guy they were seeing
We were high and the scary movies were scaring us too bad. Were all watching porn instead now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
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