IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
I wonder sometimes what your vagina thinks about you.
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
Btw, just wanna point out that you've hooked up with two guys whose birthdays are today. Congratulations, you have a type!
I feel like I just rode a horse, did a million jumping jacks, ran a marathon and need a carton on cigarettes. best sex hands down... EVER
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Dude cabbage spilt on the floor, and now danielles rolling it. Happy st party's day.
The US State Dept doesn't need to know I'm a high strung drunken whore.
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Neat. I'm thinking about growing a handlebar muffstache. What are your thoughts on this?
I think I ripped my underwear last night doing drunk squats
We can't shop at Hobby Lobby anymore. They don't like Plan B which basically runs through our veins.
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Randomize
