She said so on her MySpace, so it's gotta be true.
Spencer Pratt, I WILL beat the shit out of you someday, I Promise
Why did I wake up with "How to masturbate" on my youtube search bar?
You told us you forgot how, and started to cry.
A 21st bday and NYE should be illegal to have in the same week...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ill trade u your bra for a run to the liquor store...
Guess who just screamed "Everything happens for a reason!!" in the abortion clinic. This girl.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My boobs just got me out of my third ticket last night
i'm so proud. i woke up to nearly seven feet of basketball player in my bed this morning
you win. again.
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
The guy whose porn password I use finally renewed his membership. Lazy fucker had been slacking all summer.
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
p.s i need to stop drunk texting my mom. she brings up text convos all the time and i have no idea what shes talking about...
i gotta say this to some one...... my penis feels sooooooooo sooooooft, its amazing
like for real, sooooooooooooooo smoooooooooooooth its amazing
I can't wait for you to read this text tomorrow
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