So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
Well, I didn't bring a notebook or any paper to class. Should I take notes on the sugar packet, lace thong, or condom wrapper that instead are in my school bag?
He's 11. You dont draw dicks on 11 year olds, i dont care if he ate your lasagna
I dropped my blunt out the window of a moving car by accident, tell me everything will be okay
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
Hungover in church. I can feel stained glass Jesus judging me.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I am in an eBay bidding war over a build a bear one direction tshirt, this is who you choose to bone
He may be engaged to someone else, but god damn that was the best 3 hours I've ever spent naked with someone.
Made it to my hair appointment on time, and got some dick. Today is already a great day
Whoever jacked off in MY pong room on the bean bag with your fucking googles pick up your fucking cum towel you gross disgusting fucks. I said NO MORE jacking off in that room. I swear I will empty it out if this is going to continue.
I HAVE A STRAIGHT LINE ACROSS MY ASS ABOUT THE WIDTH OF A SLIM JIM. ERICA!
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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