honestly, who buys weed with an unemployment check?
you.
oh yeah. preciate
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
The only comparison I have for the iPhone is that it's like youre constantly getting a blow job
There are so many Jimmy John's employees here
Where are you?
Jimmy John's.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
just had Stella and stale goldfish for breakfast under the watchful eyes of an inflatable cactus and 5 llama pinatas. Cinco de mayo success!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I worked all year for this tax return. I deserve to get my nipples pierced.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
got the runs at the club last night. wondering when it'll be safe to show my face again.
Dude I cant right now. Were talking about pickles.
Randomize