He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
You walked in, sat down, looked at the waiter and said, "I'm only having deserts and liquor."
I just took a shit with a lightsaber in my hand. Dreams fulfilled.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility
well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
He came in two seconds and stole my pizza so I'm not counting it.
I mean, except for the part where I was vomiting up pineapple and hot sauce, it was a really fun time.
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
So you think Jesus would be proud of me for walking of shame into my apartment 10 minutes before I told my parents I'd be over for Easter?
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.