She described it as "a squirrel being hit by a hurricane"
I just smoked a bowl in the dining room and am now drinking a glass of chocolate milk. i can't believe i'm getting paid for this.
You filled up my voicemail with a slurred but graphic depiction of how you were humping a fire hydrant.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
I woke up to you singing What Makes You Beautiful and trying to blend an avocado with vodka.
Btw he dated my mom. You're Eskimo siblings with my mom. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Much like Dre, I was forgotten about.
Hatred of squirrels is the least of my hereditary problems.
Since Josh is going to be Carl Sagan for Halloween, he bought a turtleneck and sportsman jacket. It's all my nerd fantasies come true.
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
Btw, apparently no one knows who ordered the pizzas for the after party, no one paid, and the delivery lady made a celeb shot, took a beer, then said she'd be back later to finish up the game...
I just want you to know that watching you throw up out of a cab in the McDonald's drive thru was probably the highlight of my night.
Randomize