Sometimes your consistent use of proper punctuation makes me nervous D:
Whatever, its basically a crime against humanity to miss an andre power hour so she'll get what's coming to her.
You were doing downward dog and puking off my deck at the same time.
his profile picture is him throwing up "#1" hands after his lax championship next to his coach that i fucked....embarrasing for him, yet ironically beautiful for me.
NO YOU'RE NOT. I don't want to hear that SHIT. Jameson appreciation day part 1 is saturday and YOU WILL BE READY.
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
im sober
you just pulled your sweatpants out of your bag and thanked them for being alive
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
Well for starters, her tits were hairy.
So yeah, don't be alarmed when you come home after work to find me eating cookie dough out of a margarita glass with a knife and watching The Little Mermaid. It's been one of those days.
When I die, I want you to spread my ashes at a Cracker Barrel.
I'm going back to his house to watch wreck it Ralp.
Hey, Monsters Inc. got me laid. Disney man, who knew it leads to sex.
Please don't call my dad a fuckpuppet, I feel like that would be awkward to explain later.
I woke up on some strangers couch covered in salad mix and oatmeal cream pies. The struggle is absolutely real.
Randomize
