also referred to as T.P.S. (Toddler Penis Syndrome)
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I just gave head in the laundry room on campus. He said it was one of the best moments in all of history. Take that, neil armstrong.
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
you left a paper here that says 'to do list' but it looks like you just wrote "drink a bunch of cough syrup and watch Who's the Boss" like 60 times
This guys mom bought us a 24 pack and drove me and 8 others to a frat house... Hello moms weekend.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
Thank you for not boning my boss.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
We fucked on shrooms. It's like his dick was a beam of light and when I came I turned into a prism and my orgasms were made of rainbows.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
If I showed up at your door with pizza and a bottle of tequila wearing nothing but chaps and a fireman helmet, would you send me away?
What I'm doing now is like me taking a bagel, dropping it butter side down, leaving it for six years, picking it back up, and trying to fuck it
When dealing with embarassing medical issues, don't you want your brother's wife to be the one fishing around up your ass?
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