took shots out of a medicine cup. i can get used to college.
When i tried to give you something that wasn't tequila...like water....you kept saying it was against your religion.
I've always been the spiritual type.
Either seal the deal or get out of the room, I don't want to hide in this closet anymore
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
You know you're a whore when you color code your calendar with who you slept with on what day incase you have ANOTHER pregnancy scare
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
Would it be weird to jack off in the hospital?
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
why do all the dudes in this porno look like billy ray cyrus
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Just had sex to Jesse & the Rippers. Can check that one off the bucket list.
40 year old guy made out with me last night while I had French fries in my mouth
Ok, maybe playing "whose family is most dysfunctional" wasn't the best drunk idea we've had. Todd''s been crying in the bathroom for an hour. We can't get him out...
Where's the chopping off someone's balls emoji