This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
he fingered me, smelled his fingers, then asked me what i ate today..
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
i just found a bag of weed behind my capital one card. i guess that's what's in my wallet.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
Two people confessed their love to me last night. Drunk is a good color on me
You stole a fry from a complete stranger. He wasn't happy. Then you said fuck it and stole the whole poutine and ran down the street while he stared in shock.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
Played never have I ever with high schoolers today. Needless to say they brought up threesomes so I had to make a judgement call and decided to not put my finger down
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I was having a serious heart-to-heart, and then the weed gummy kicked in.
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
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