If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Last night I walked out of the bar got in a cab asked the cabi to circle the block. he did and brought me right back to the bar. I paid him $7 thanked him and walked back into the bar.
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
I'm lost. Please come find me. I'm inside the I-270 circle somewhere. I can hear laughing.
I think I fixed my testicle. That's why I didnt pay $25 for a doctor to do it
For thanksgving we are only drinking wild turkey for the next 24hrs time to strap your balls back on and maybe a helmet
Ps we bought 8 pellet guns just now
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
I feel like drug tests are a little less "random" when you are employed by your father.
She shoved a hot dog in my pocket and started grinding on it.
fell down stairs ended up in underground bar now im dancing with trannies and best night of my life. lines of coke
That broad from the bar put her name in my phone as "The girl I'm going to marry in 10 years".
Randomize
