dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
there is cereal in my wallet where all the cash used to be.
Im am drinking whisky alone in my parents basement. I think I just watched the point of no return stroll by.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
what has two thumbs and is going to bang you boss on monday?
She gave me a foot massage with her tongue. I think we're both scarred for life.
is it consensual if they're cheered on by a room filled with 30 people?
A homeless man walked up to me at the bar, pointed, and told me to get my shit together. Jesus?
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
I saw Nicolas Cage's face in the moon. Those were good shrooms.
I cnant read. Cheetos goen. Help. Grt Cheetos.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
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