Small penises have feelings too.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
She was so drunk that I kept trying to switch out her wine for water. Sort of like Jesus, but in reverse.
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I just want to apologize for screaming when I saw you the other day. It's just that you looked really gross and I was high.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
She is sending me pics of her sex faces...which totally counts as sexting in my book
I drunk-cried for all conjoined twins everywhere the other day.
We split an eighth of shrooms and went ice fishing. It didn't get weird until I caught one and we both started crying.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
Can you bring me the toilet please
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
Randomize
