Also, i'm pretty sure i've had my birth control pill stuck in my throat since like...two pm. So i'll be practicing safe oral sex tonight.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
It's one of the reasons i'm here, along with emotional support, physical support if you need it, and power orgasms.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
Now that world cup is done, funneling out of a vuvuzela has lost its fun
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
all i remember is that her bootyshorts said 'shameless' and that there was no turning back.
he told me he's been faithful to his girlfriend and is gonna try to stay that way. challenge accepted.
Let me stew on this while im plucking my nipple hairs and showering.
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
From now on when a guy sends me a dick picture I'm going to send them a picture of some other dudes dick.
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
WHY IS THERE NO EMOJI FOR "FUCK MY MOM JUST SAW MY SEX BRUISES?!"
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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