Just looked in the bathroom mirror before getting to this exam to see If I look as bad as I feel & the answer is no. I look amazing, even in yesterday's clothes
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
She told me at midnight she would blow me harder than a new years party kazoo
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
She left me a voicemail too. It's just her moaning her name repeatedly
Ummm so I just found the baby pumpkin that was on my porch last night in Village Pizza this morning on their counter. The cashier said some drunk girl came in and told him it was a present.
mid blow job she looked up and said "we aren't even facebook friends!"
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
Nobody has seen her in 3 days. Should we call the cops or hope this is just another drunk Carmen San Diego game she's playing?
I just googled, "how to do boob makeup" thats the kind of night I wanna have.
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Bruh. He just said the words "cyber sex"-is it 1999?
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Randomize
