hey call me
can't. in the shower.
... and this is probably why your phone does not work half the time.
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I have blocked the memory from my mind. He is just a fuzzy cloud floating with my other bad decisions..
God I hope my hair dresser doesn't realize that all these hairspiration pictures are from gay porn blogs on tumblr.
I just saw a commercial for God of War and heard the nickname he gave my vagina.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
He called me at two in the morning to tell me he was throwing the tiny Thor hammer at moving vehicles. Apparently he missed the guy on the motorcycle.
can i text him and be like "oh yeah, forgot i kinda made out with a girl this weekend. For future reference, does this count as cheating?" ?
He put my hand on his penis and said welcome home.
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
A respectable fucking: good but like I don't want to get kicked out of my hotel room
Setting myself up for trouble? Yes. But getting laid is a lot more important at this time.
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