somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I couldn't tell if he was hitting on me or if he was just mentally challenged.
She threw up a whole curly fry. A. WHOLE. CURLY. FRY.
He literally is quoting that 21 questions song, the 50 cent one. oh my god.
I've never seen a kid turn down a sure thing for a possible handy by a freshmen. You need to re-evaluate.
Judging by the crutches in the living room I take it you two are fine and we aren't going out tonight?
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
Your boobs are like a big quesadilla marker
I don't have any money, so I'm just gonna press my boobs against him for his birthday.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
if i do community service solely to impress a guy, everyone wins, right?
except your soul
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
Randomize
