My brother and I both agreed that your boobs are fake.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
Drunk roommate walked in on us and asked if we wanted to go eat a sandwich with her in the bathroom.
I'll offer my penis as collateral. You can hold title to it till I pay you back.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
Fighting the urge to throw up all over my little brothers jr high basketball bench. Welcome home aaron
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
Well, if you're getting/have gotten your dick sucked, you're welcome. If not, I tried. Step up your game, pussy. I pulled a MacGuyver and got mine. No excuses bro.
literally 50% of my time being 20 has involved my genitals thus far
Though I do have to question why i found you and my brother passed out on his bedroom floor, no clothing between you except his tie wrapped around your dick
If one more dude who finds out I'm a cop asks to see me in uniform I'm gonna become asexual
Did I turn a man straight...??
Yes!
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
What's a really polite way of saying "you have gravely overestimated the value of your vagina?"
Randomize
