I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
i finished masturbating and realized my blackberry had accidentaly called my grandmother in my pocket during it. awkward...
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
When he took off his pants i accidently shouted "that is one small wiener," and thats when he left
you'd think someone with a dick that small would take what he could get
My friend is getting herself a tramp stamp that says "property of the half blood prince".
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
on a side note you can NOT make bong water out of a pear
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I got my eyebrow ring humped out. How is that even possible?
there may have been a blood oath never to speak of it again...only reason i can think of as to why there was a 1 inch bloody cut on my right boob
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Just threw up in the trash can at my desk. I guess "beating the hangover" eventually leads to this.
We need to know if his feet match his cock.
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