Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Your roommate was biting my friend last night. It was weird.
just rolled a joint with wrapping paper.. and you say i have no christmas spirit
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
Just because your phone has a case on it doesn't mean it will survive a 5 story drop out the window.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
just heard this guy tell a story about how he got boat head. i want his life
Only you can can turn Jenga into a drinking and then a sex game.
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
I woke up at 4 am. Literally pissed. No idea what happened. I could have fucked a cow.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
There are far too many naked dudes in your apartment, and they aren't even watching porn. I mean seriously, they've got the Lion King on.
I hate when I wake up and find my vibrator next to me. Such a waste of an orgasm...getting myself off in my sleep and not remembering
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
