we both passed out while playing beer pong, woke up in the morning and continued to play coffee pong to cure our hangovers
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I'm doing laundry in pjs and heels, home alone with my margarita bucket.
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going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
My "Week Of Not Checking Into OK Cupid So I Don't Hook Up With Another Fat Chick" lasted four hours. On the plus side, she was the smallest one yet.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
Good morning sunshine. Care to hear the riveting tale of Michelle and the Almost Great Night That Ended In An Early Morning of Karma Emptying It's Bowels On Her Guilty Shoulders?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
Yeah and you keep saying "I know how to win America." While running away from us
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I can hear the pillow talk now, "how many condoms did you bring? Good, put them all on,"
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