We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
Great. Don't do shady things like that ok?
But he was like 75 and lives right near mom and dad. Not a threat at all.
3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
i'd rather walk the sahara in a snuggie with no water than take a bicycle cab
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Washing the last semen-stained shirt you have really solidifies a breakup. It just got real.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
This is the first time since last march I'm gonna be going to a class for more reasons than wanting to bone the girl sitting next to me.
Im making gravy in a lace bra and jeans. Just call me the southwern wet dream
Pretty sure the nurse said at one point I was in full restraints because I tried surfing my stretcher
No lie. I was hooking up with a former football player at UT and mid-hookup I yelled "I'M FRATERNIZING WITH THE ENEMY"
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Got baked and laid and ate baked lays when I laid down while baking the brownies I I’m Superman
You’re still high, aren’t you?
Oh yeah
Randomize
