First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I wish I could google chicago male strippers on my work computer but I don't feel like talking to HR today
Someone sharpied 'shit show' on my tits. Someone with excellent penmanship
Corey Haim died. 80's me is so sad
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
She grabbed both of our dicks in the pool then said repeatedly, "this is my dream, this is my dream,"
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Randomize
