Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
I feel like banging her is an expected thing. But banging you would be like getting a 36 on the ACT.
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
Ok the fact that you know THAT phrase perfectly is terrifying. You just proved you can slut it up in mulitiple languages.
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I am not going to ask my mother to pause a movie so I can have phone sex.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
Got my parents to pick me up from the party, take me to the bar and buy all my drinks, then drop me off at my booty calls house.
I think one of your friend's offered my friend chicken tenders back at his place...just FYI he should probably come up w/ another line
My husband was abducted by a group of disco dancers in the parde and danced off down the street. If you see him, tell him to Hustle on home and clean the cat box. #MardiGras
There’s a special place in hell for tall guys with small dicks
If you are refering to the duckling living in your bath...I can explain, but before I do, can you throw a peice of bread in there?
My sister gave me satin sheets. We can fuck on satin sheets.
Randomize
