god. i hate danny gokey.
Hes like the kid in school that reminds the teacher they forgot to assign homeowrk.
he's mormon right? lame.
I finally had kitchen counter sex! i was so excited
hey my socially awkward cousin is our designated driver for summer, we just have to put up with her wierd shit.
woke up to find a pram in the balcony. first thing we did was look over the edge!
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Found her in the closet eating mayo out of the jar with a knife
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
No, not at all. Pulling a condom out of your vag at 2pm is NOTHING like finding $10 in your winter coat. Stop trying to make me feel better.
He just gave himself a boner while driving using "the power of his mind"
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
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