***** fucked a guy with one hand last night
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
It'd be like medium rare by now.
I love how we're talking about your vagina like it's a piece of meat.
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
His dad asked what he was doing so he texted his FATHER a picture of me wearing his shirt in his bed.
My cat was watching porn with me. Weirdest bonding experience ever.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Just accidentally flashed my junk to the lady helping me try on suits, it was cold in there, I don't think she was impressed.
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
The batteries in my vibrator died before I could finish. Which is a lot like my sex life lately......
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
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