Turns out I'm a social drinker... I just happen to be REALLY social.
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Somehow he came on his own face...then he freaked out
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
Leaving ole miss girls house to go to the stripper girls house. Why did it take losing my job to start getting laid all the damn time?
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
He's a forty-something balding gay man with no boundaries or sense of social norms. Of course we should befriend him.
I'm bringing Sergeant Single Slut out this weekend. I hope you're ready for her.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
I asked him to explain what he meant by "hooking up" in paragraph form
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
My niece I'm babysitting left earlier to stay the night with her friend. I got ditched by an 8 year old.
I knew how blacked out you were when you started doing that thing where you dance around and call yourself the Black Swan.
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
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