i just turned barefoot contessa into a drinking game. everytime she uses a knife butter or salt i drink.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I mean. If you don't have time I understand, but my dick doesn't.
these marshmallows taste like mayonnaise. like playing tetris on a gameboy, that's what these marshmallows mean.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
and I'm sitting five inches from the tv scrunched up in a ball watching doug. It's like I'm five again...except I'm more stoned than the dude who created this show
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
It was awk he was sittin on a plastic backyard chair in his underwear and high white socks in the dark watching the nuggets game
Apparently there's nothing on sonza for "giving a handjob while sunbathing"
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
You tried to chase every shot with a blueberry.
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