so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
We just did a shot to "getting laid in the bar bathroom". I love where this thursday is headed
the water pistols in the freezer are full of voddka.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
So fucking hammered. Is this all spelled right? I'm holding it up to my eye. I am on a boulder. I feel like an owl
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
The drug dealer had chickens in his house so I know it was good stuff.
I just threw up all of my lunch in the Barnes & Nobles parking lot. Rockbottom tastes like a veggie burger, in case you were wondering.
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I had a threesome last night with my fiance' and our soon to be best man. Everyone is surprisingly chill about it this morning. Is this any indication of what the wedding night will be like?
I just learned that the grill marks on a Burger King burger patty are actually previously burnt on there with a radioactive spray-on liquid and McDonald's french fries are actually 5% potato.
Randomize
