I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
I really don't want to move...I'm having a motivation problem.
kev is about to show us pictures of the tranny he accidentally fucked last night.
I'll be there in 10
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i just keep taking vicodin and supergluing random shit
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He just walked into my room in a robe with a cooking pot of cereal.
it was either a really good one night stand or a really really good first date. thank you online dating
I believe its time to stop celebrating Thanksgiving. I've been drunk for over a week. If my liver doesn't give out, and I'm not pregnant I will truly have something to be thankful for.
You passed out while holding my hair during a blow job.. i think your gona have to earn back blow jobs
We're downstairs cleaning up and she turns to me with these big puppy dog eyes and says "Just so you know, I didn't have sex on your couch". You have to hug that.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
Wait. You NEVER used a Dizzy Doodler pen as a vibrator?!?
jut tell him gently that you'd rather spend more time with his dick than his face
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
