grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
Puking blue powerade in mcdonalds parking lot to the applause of the guy taking out the trash with man in the mirror blasting in the background. Good morning stl
the guy next to me needed a pen, so I let him take one from my book bag. my panties are now being passed around the class...thank you for telling me you hid them in my bookbag.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
you walked into the kitchen holding the skyy bottle and asked us "how do i warm this?"
its great to know that you distinguish your relationships on whether you can cum on someone's face
That's science, my friend. Boner science.
I hear sloppy seconds go great with fried rice
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He just grabbed my boob and justified it by saying "I just wanna feel your heart beat"
Nothing tops off the night like giving emotional and spiritual guidance to a 70 year old transvestite.
My dad slapped my ass the other day and say I was "doing the family name good". I feel...proud
Hot date tonight for the first time in months and I just cut my dick shaving. PRAY FOR ME.
Foreplay went from me being a bank teller and him a customer to us actually having to go to the bank so we would make rent
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
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