I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
At some point tonight the bad ideas in my head became bad decisions that happened outside my head
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
I currently look like a drunken mermaid, god I love beach parties.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I've been there, but who knows? I drink a lot
the quiet that you are hearing is a silent suggestion that you should go fuck yourself
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Congrats! Its a fuck boy!
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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