I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Doing tuck and rolls down a stair case was not my brightest idea
i just got on a party bus. i think i left my belly button at the bar.
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
told weddin planner we wanted to work in ceremonial body shots before vows. she hasnt reponded yet...
do you think she knows her nickname is brickface?
Yikes. I usually have a 24-hour waiting period between sex partners. You know, like for a handgun.
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
don't act like you've never hung your towel on your dick after getting out of the shower
i hope you're proud of yourself! i just had to ask my boss to put ointment on the rugburn on my back. clothes hurt!
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
I cant tell you how much harder a belt makes hoeing
Randomize
