planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
i just saw a girl w/ a shirt that said "im the single friend." yeah i bet u r. stop wearing shirts like that and that could change.
You taught me that having a dip while u shit is awesome. I appreciate u for that
If you start sounding at all like you're even remotely in love, expect a lecture on the merits of being a single woman with a vibrator.
This is why we're friends.
It was a new level of awkwardness and terror. The high schoolers you fuck in the summer should never introduce themselves to your mom and godmother
found a hand written recpiet for 'one doe fawn' on an open crate in my living room need help to find it
where the hell would u of bought a deer
Lmao the neighbor heard yall last night She wanted me to tell you way to finish strong
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
They usually take it with their boobs. It's like a horizontal motorboat
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
You know, you have a good excuse now if you have a poor performance. Just say "what do you expect? I took a paintball to the DICK!!"
how does spending your day off taking me to the hospital sound?
decided to jump from one of the levels of the Westin chicago Nortghwest. it was worth the broken legs.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Randomize
