do you remember what downloading porn with a 14k modem was like?
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
you woke me up in the middle of the night to tell me you were taking off your pants and it was not an invitation.
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Found my other fake eyelash. In a condom wrapper...
we're a generation of lazy underachieving stoners and uncreative overachieving automatons. you're golden
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
I showed my cat the amount of coke I had. She looked concerned.
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
I fought off a bull with my bare hands while he went off to have sex with her against a wall. I’m more upset about the fact that no one is acknowledging what I did.
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