there should be a relationship option on facebook "stillllll in a relationship"
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think off duty cops drove me home. I may have been hitchhiking
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Please save me from this creative non fiction class. I just wrote a paper about how I spend unhealthy amounts of time with my cat.
I spend unhealthy amounts of time watching RuPaul's Drag Race.
I referred to the cat as amicable.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having my alarm go off at 3:30 makes me wanna rip my dick off and shove it through my eye socket
Pretty sure my idea of standards went out the window when I hooked up with a guy who had a rooster tattoo with an arrow pointing down to his no no bits. Think about it.
I'm watching porn in spanish. Thats studying right?
there is absolutely nothing wrong with two grown men staying up all night blowing lines drinking white wine and playing call of duty. don't judge me
You know you threw a brownie at my head last night. And said you did it to defend the turtles honer....
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
Randomize