I asked her if she watches the office. She said no, but do you watch I'm a celebrity get me outa here? That's when i knew. Deal breaker
Erin Andrews shaves. She also likes to check out her ass in the mirror. Of course if I had an ass like that I'd be checking it out in the mirror too.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
I took my shirt off and stood in the kitchen for an hour and a half talking to his parents about my tattoos
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
I'll be there in 10. I need you naked and ready. Warm up.
I didn't ask to see his penis, it was an ambush. Impressive though
If your mother gets up on the bar again, I will. The bouncer already had a talk with her earlier.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I was proudly and successfully the first girl ever to get kicked out of a the bar for being too drunk last night. Loving spring break.
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Anyone would get lost in that field after that much vodka. Trust me... I kind of feel like superman considering I even made it home. Most people would've been face down in a random oilfield. Not this guy.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
These freshmen are fun! The redhead wants to practice her blowjob skills with me and let me rate different moves!
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