Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
High as balls & about to be tanning. Helloooo 15 minute vacay.
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
she always winds up in the cupboards its nothing new.
I just want you to know how happy I am that you are circumcised.
I'd like to bring you 40 virgins and treasure chests of gold to make you feel better
We were high as shit. We argued for like ten minutes about going to Dunkin Donuts and then just ended up rolling down hills. Thanks for the weed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Mmhmmm. I have a list of drunk achievement that is almost as long as my list of stoned achievements
dude ur drinkin a beer not ta capri sun. lose the straw
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
u would mumble something and then get unnecessarily loud and say random shit like 'id fuck the shit out of taylor hanson right now'
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
Randomize
